SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi

Thank you all for all your help. Some might remember me. First I posted in 2015 I think, back again last year. Now back here. Long story short:

- knew her for few months
- we were in a relationship
- serious at least from my side
- she cheated few day travelled away by a beach in another country
- unprotected sex
- she suddenly burst in years saying she doesn't deserve me I figured she cheated
- After few months confessed to me
- I love her so much
- I stayed, now I think it might be hysterical bounding
- reconcile
- 9 years later, I was bad I bring the cheat to win an argument, she kept saying she changed and cries.
- After that suddenly she ghosted me, reported me to police harassment! Reported me to HR we work at same place, nearly lost my job.

Now vanished for 1 year and 8 months

Left me stuck,lost lots, tons of item in the house. Was cleaning, donating items, move massive bed down stairs by myself, had a fall on stairs nearly broke my arm, end up crying feeling shit. Then continue moving cleaning donating selling etc. All alone in forgin country.

Then investigation at work since she reported and said unbelievable shit that she is fearful for her life, and that she contact A Mr .... that's her colleague and friend, yes a friend a Mr that I never heard of before, suddenly presented in this in her investigation document which was shared with me by HR prior to hearing! Then I started thinking maybe she left me for him.

STD TEST
HIV TEST
all I had to do and get doctors comments about it and go through this is painful and traumatising. Luckily I was ok but the experience of attending, scheduling an appointment is not easy.

I didn't see the first cheat coming and certainly never saw police report and HR report coming, and a Mr friend in the picture. On top of that I once sent her email of crying and had panic attack guess what? She shared that with HR all people at work who were involved in the investigation saw this.

Investigation was triggered because she ghosted me and I went to her work outside by her car to talk as we got 10 years of being togather and tons of stuff and next of kin etc, must be sorted!

What hurts is that, after she cheated first, I moved to another country found another job started new, then couple of years after I helped her migrate to sane country and get job and sort out her qualifications etc, I didn't know this will happen.

I have all her love letter, birthday letter today after 1 year 8 months I decided to throw all away as don't think we will ever meet or reconcile again.

I trust God its for my own good.

I just find it hard to create memories with another girl, feel ill always remember her. I'm in a shock.

I just miss the old version of me, the version before I was betrayed 😔 I see others happy from their heart and after all these years I'm still sad. I feel I miss my uninjured untraumatised version of me.

Pray for me.

I honestly think that she literally murdered me. May God forgive her and forgive me.

Guys I'm sad, the betrayal is something that hurts so much, if she left because didn't work I'm fine we agree to end it etc, but the way she did and then there is a Mr in the picture is sad.

My life ruined 10 years ago and cemented ruined 10 years later.

Will pray for you friend. I know this, when I was in a situation feeling like you, God was the one who helped me survive. I would read the Psalms and pray over them daily. Try to do the same friend.

I'm sorry you've been through all this. 'm even sorrier that you're still feeling so awful.

Did you ever seek IC? If so, did it help? How?

Do you want to change how you feel?

Thank you Wood I appreciated. Sisoon thank you. I have never tried counselling and not keen just feels it may make it worse I don't know.

I do want to chnage but I feel I haven't had a closure, I don't mind leaving me, but not this way, especially after all what I have been through now years later she does this nasty.

I just feel I could never be the same, yes time heals but not entirely I suppose.

I just wish this never happened to me. On the day she confessed I went crazy beating myself with a shoe crying I lost it, couldn't breath, then years later she does that.

I did a lot I mean a lot tons for her and that's the payback.

Now I got these questions:

1. If I attempt new relationship do I share my experience with the other lady? Or never?

I just feel I want the potential other person that hey this is me I have been hurt, I feel this will take tons of my chest and perhaps cure me, rather than acting normal when I'm not.

I am confused.

I just feel reconcile is rarely the right decision.