Miss the previous me

Hi

Thank you all for all your help. Some might remember me. First I posted in 2015 I think, back again last year. Now back here. Long story short:

- knew her for few months
- we were in a relationship
- serious at least from my side
- she cheated few day travelled away by a beach in another country
- unprotected sex
- she suddenly burst in years saying she doesn't deserve me I figured she cheated
- After few months confessed to me
- I love her so much
- I stayed, now I think it might be hysterical bounding
- reconcile
- 9 years later, I was bad I bring the cheat to win an argument, she kept saying she changed and cries.
- After that suddenly she ghosted me, reported me to police harassment! Reported me to HR we work at same place, nearly lost my job.

Now vanished for 1 year and 8 months

Left me stuck,lost lots, tons of item in the house. Was cleaning, donating items, move massive bed down stairs by myself, had a fall on stairs nearly broke my arm, end up crying feeling shit. Then continue moving cleaning donating selling etc. All alone in forgin country.

Then investigation at work since she reported and said unbelievable shit that she is fearful for her life, and that she contact A Mr .... that's her colleague and friend, yes a friend a Mr that I never heard of before, suddenly presented in this in her investigation document which was shared with me by HR prior to hearing! Then I started thinking maybe she left me for him.

STD TEST
HIV TEST
all I had to do and get doctors comments about it and go through this is painful and traumatising. Luckily I was ok but the experience of attending, scheduling an appointment is not easy.

I didn't see the first cheat coming and certainly never saw police report and HR report coming, and a Mr friend in the picture. On top of that I once sent her email of crying and had panic attack guess what? She shared that with HR all people at work who were involved in the investigation saw this.

Investigation was triggered because she ghosted me and I went to her work outside by her car to talk as we got 10 years of being togather and tons of stuff and next of kin etc, must be sorted!

What hurts is that, after she cheated first, I moved to another country found another job started new, then couple of years after I helped her migrate to sane country and get job and sort out her qualifications etc, I didn't know this will happen.

I have all her love letter, birthday letter today after 1 year 8 months I decided to throw all away as don't think we will ever meet or reconcile again.

I trust God its for my own good.

I just find it hard to create memories with another girl, feel ill always remember her. I'm in a shock.

I just miss the old version of me, the version before I was betrayed 😔 I see others happy from their heart and after all these years I'm still sad. I feel I miss my uninjured untraumatised version of me.

Pray for me.

I honestly think that she literally murdered me. May God forgive her and forgive me.

Guys I'm sad, the betrayal is something that hurts so much, if she left because didn't work I'm fine we agree to end it etc, but the way she did and then there is a Mr in the picture is sad.

My life ruined 10 years ago and cemented ruined 10 years later.

1 comment posted: Saturday, August 23rd, 2025

Your thoughts

Sorry I deleted guess I'm not ready yet.

0 comment posted: Sunday, March 30th, 2025

Am i going crazy ?

Hi everyone

Long story short, she cheated on me 9 years ago, tried reconcile didn't work, now she dumped me, went away for family emergency and she escalated to police and to my work place.

I an in disbelief?

Am I going crazy ? I started talking to myself loud like I'm sitting with someone. Then I go look at the mirror and talk to myself.

I'm a bit scared of thus thought must I just stop or is this is normal.

I so so scared to go for counselling I feel when I was worse maybe I didn't do it, If I do it now maybe it means I'm admitting I'm messed up and crazy it is like I'm a verifying it. I'm so scared to entertain counselling

Have anyone of you felt the same or had similar symptoms?

I feel my ex is not who she was, I don't know if I'm lucky or dumb not seeing all this cheat then her pulling this.

Thank you

5 comments posted: Friday, March 8th, 2024

Failed after 8 years

Hi everyone,

I never thought I will be back here. I tried to even find my previous posts I couldn't as it has been sometime now. Maybe it is for the best so I don't read it and relive it.

So I guess I stayed in the relationship because I was trying to find out WHY WHY WHY ME WHAT DID I DO ETC.

We were living but not happy, there were some period where we were happy but lately not especially her, she keeps crying and say she changed and I'm stuck in the past. Any arguments we have I'd bring the cheat up.

It was not fair for her and wasn't good for me. I couldn't have kids with her because I wasn't sure if the cheat won't cross my mind when I see them and how low I may feel.

I never saw her cheat coming before, I'm never physically aggressive, I went away for family emergency and she just left the house and put the key through letterbox.

9 years all together she messed me up at the beginning and at the end. She didn't even want to say bye or discuss just vanished and blocked when i contact to say I don't mind you leaving but at least let's talk, you just agreed to renew the rent for 2 years that's was couple of months ago and now you leaving me with tons of items and all other implications. She ignored.

So I decided to go meet her outside work to ask what's going on? What part of I don't mind you leaving you don't understand ? Can at least sort things out and go. She suggested to go for cafe then few hours later she texted she is not going she changed her mind.

Next thing I told her ill tell your parents everything or come to see you at work. I just said ill never do it.

Next thing is I'm reported at my work and to the police. At this stage I knew for sure this person isn't the same person I lived with for almost a decade.

She looked she is not in a natural stable state of mind, she looked she was hypnotised.

I did find about 2 months ago deleted conversation she had with her evil girl friend, the one who commented to her after she told her she cheated on me, she told her it's ok I also cheated on my boyfriend it happens !. When I asked what was the conversation about and why you deleted it, she said it was some spiritual things.

I'm no saint and I suffered a lot and I know this wasn't working but I'm in disbelief I mean no way on earth I'd report her or do anything, I never touched her or been aggressive. But thus person is someone new someone I don't know I swear it wasn't whom I used to know.

I don't know if I regret wasting all these years reconcile or not I was more looking for answers it is all gone now.

12 comments posted: Wednesday, March 6th, 2024